Telstra Robot

There isn’t anything that can adequately portray my state of mind after trying to recharge my Telstra pre-paid mobile broadband gadget thingy.

I need it for work.  Only Telstra provides coverage where we live, so they basically have us by the short n curlies.

First step upon realising that coverage runs out the next day is to go to the Telstra website.  I try to log onto my account and get a big white nothing page.  I try that enough times for it to resemble beating my head against a big white wall.  When it becomes too painful, I decide I need some assistance.  Look!  You can “live chat” with Telstra!  Surely, that will fix the problem.  Here’s a record of the chat, unedited, as it happened.  You be the judge:

Chat Transcript
Info: Thank you for choosing Telstra 24×7 Live Chat. A representative will be with you shortly. At the conclusion of your chat please take a few moments to give us some feedback on your experience today.
Info: All agents are currently assisting others. Thank you for your patience.
Info: All agents are currently assisting others. Thank you for your patience.
Info: You are now chatting with Frediliza.
Heidi: can’t recharge my prepaid internet, goes to blank page
Info: You’re now being transferred. Please allow a few moments for the consultant to read your chat transcript.
Info: Please ask a question below.
Codi: Hi, I’m Codi – Telstra’s Virtual Assistant.
Codi: I’m still learning, but I can help you with your Pre-Paid enquiries. How can I help you today?
Heidi: I can’t recharge it goes to a blank page
Heidi: runs out tomorrow
Codi: To help you further I’m going to have to pass you onto one of our human chat consultants. Is this ok?
Heidi: yes
Codi: So I can transfer you to a human chat consultant, please provide your name.
Heidi: Heidi
Codi: Thanks Heidi. I’ll transfer you now.
Codi:
Codi: Normally we would transfer you to one of our chat consultants, however we’ve turned this off for internal launch.

To start a new conversation with Codi, simply close the chat window and start again.
Heidi: pardon?
Codi: I’m still in training. Can you please try rewording your question?
Heidi: can I talk to someone who can fix my problem?
Codi: Looks like I might need some more training on this.
Codi: To help you further I’m going to have to pass you onto one of our human chat consultants. Is this ok?
Heidi: yes
Codi: So I can transfer you to a human chat consultant, please provide your name.
Heidi: Heidi
Codi: Thanks Heidi. I’ll transfer you now.
Codi:
Codi: Normally we would transfer you to one of our chat consultants, however we’ve turned this off for internal launch.

To start a new conversation with Codi, simply close the chat window and start again.
Heidi: please transfer me to a human
Codi: I’m here to help with your Telstra enquiries. Try asking me a question.
Heidi: see above
Codi:
Codi:
Codi: Hmmm…. you’ve gone very quiet. I hope it wasn’t something I said.
Codi: Let me know if there’s anything I can help with.
Codi: I still haven’t heard from you. If I don’t hear from you shortly I’ll need to close our chat.
Codi: If there is anything I can help with, then let me know.
Codi: Looks like you’ve left me. I’m going to end our chat now. I’ll be here if you need anything else 🙂
Info: Thank you for chatting with us.

The End.

My favourite line is “Hmmm…. you’ve gone very quiet. I hope it wasn’t something I said.”

P.S.  I also spoke to a real person, on the phone, who was no help, either.  Then I discovered that by typing m.telstra.com I could get straight into my account and recharge in 3 seconds.  Miracle!  But why did Codi not tell me this?  I think Codi needs some more training.  Or something.  Or maybe I’ll just move to a cave and carve my messages on stone tablets.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Telstra Robot

  1. I went into the Telstra shop and it took the assistant like near an hour to understand what I wanted . All I wanted was to sign on a new plan to give the phone to my son lol He couldn’t work it out lol

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh cripes, I wish you’d called me. I learned about that secret website by going into the Telstra Office in Batemans Bay and not leaving until the problem was solved. Was interesting how many questions I had to pose to get to the right answer. Funnily enough I had seen that url in some initial instructions, but had forgotten it by the time I went to recharge many months later. So I knew it existed when I was standing there with the rep.

    Liked by 1 person

    • And why don’t they just put that right at the top of anything connected with recharging, in bold flashing letters? Oh wait, perhaps it’s to do with them not being able to charge you for using it, haha! Better for them if you spend an hour looking on their website, chatting to robots, followed by some more wasted time surfing internet fora and calling them. Just a wild guess, of course.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Your chat session looks eerily similar to some of mine. It seems to me the more technological we become the worse customer service becomes. I know this wasn’t funny at the time you were going through this but reading it now it’s sad and strangely hilarious. Glad everything worked out for you, in the end, no thanks to the company.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s